Contact Information

Judith St. King

Women’s Personal Growth &
Therapy Center PC

4660 Marsh Road
Okemos, MI 48864

Feel free to call us

Phone: 517-347-2126
Fax: 517-347-7892

Business Hours:
Monday-Friday 7 a.m.-8 p.m. by appointment
Limited Weekends

Offices Handicapped Accessible

Most Insurances Accepted

Couples Counseling

Couples counseling includes learning new methods of communication that reduces conflict and fosters increased intimacy. To have a relationship last, couples must become better friends, learn to manage conflict, and create ways to support each other’s hopes for the future.

Suggested guidelines to choosing a marital counselor:
1. Make sure your therapist has received specific training and is experienced in marital therapy. Marital therapy requires very different skills than doing individual therapy. Couples therapists occur when two people live under the same roof. They need to know what makes a marriage tick. A therapist can be very skilled as an individual therapist and be clueless about helping couples change. For this reason, ask your therapist about his or her training and experience.
2. Make sure your therapist is focused in the direction of finding solutions to your marital problems rather than helping you leave your marriage when things get rocky. Feel free to ask about the therapists’ feelings about the point at which s/he sees divorce to be a viable alternative. Your therapists’ response will be very revealing.
3. You should feel comfortable and respected by your therapist. You should feel that he or she understands your perspective and feelings. If your therapist sides with you or your spouse, that’s not good
4. The therapists own values about relationships definitely play a part in what he or she does and is interested in when working with you. Since there are few universal rules for being and staying in love, if your therapist insists that there is only one way to have a successful marriage, find another therapist.
5. Make sure you (and your partner) and your therapist set concrete goals early on. If you don’t, you will probably meet each week with no clear direction. Once you set goals, you should never lose sight of them. If you don’t begin to see some progress within two or three sessions, you should address your concern with your therapist.
6. Know that most marital problems are solvable. Human beings are amazing and they are capable to doing great things, especially for people they love.
7. Most of all trust your instincts. If your therapist is helping, you’ll know it. If he or she isn’t, you’ll know that too.
8. Finally, the best way to find a good therapist is word-of-mouth. Satisfied customers say a lot about the kind of therapy you will receive. Although you might feel embarrassed to ask friends or family for a referral, you should consider doing it anyway. It increases the odds you’ll find a therapist who will really help you and your spouse.

A Gottman trained couple’s counselor will help a couple:

1. Build Love Maps: How well do you know your partner’s inner psychological world, his or her history, worries, stresses, joys and hopes?
2. Share Fondness and Admiration: This level focuses on the amount of affection and respect within a relationship. (To strengthen fondness and admiration, express appreciation and respect.)
3. Turn Towards: State your needs, be aware of bids for connection and respond to (turn towards) them. The small moments of everyday life are actually the building blocks of a relationship.
4. The Positive Perspective: The presence of a positive approach to problem-solving and the success of repair attempts.
5. Manage Conflict: We say “manage” conflict rather than “resolve” conflict, because relationship conflict is natural and has functional, positive aspects. Understand that there is a critical difference in handling perpetual problems and solvable problems.
6. Make Life Dreams Come True: Create an atmosphere that encourages each person to talk honestly about his or her hopes, values, convictions and aspirations.
7. Create Shared Meaning: Understand important visions, narratives, myths and metaphors about your relationship.
8. Trust: this is the state that occurs when a person knows his or her partner acts and thinks to maximize that person’s best interests and benefits, not just the partner’s own interests and benefits. In other words, this means, “my partner has my back and is there for me.”
9. Commitment: This means believing (and acting on the belief) that your relationship with this person is completely your lifelong journey, for better or for worse (meaning that if it gets worse you will both work to improve it). It implies cherishing your partner’s positive qualities and nurturing gratitude by comparing the partner favorably with real or imagined others, rather than trashing the partner by magnifying negative qualities, and nurturing treatment by comparing unfavorably with real or imagined others.